Can Get Worse
by NorthernShinigami
Summary: Strolling down the streets naked when you're about to bump into the little sister of your superior and other unwanted people is not good. And just for the record,losing your Zanpakuto while gambling is definitely not good.Warning,naked men:Be Ware of SWA
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach, Kubo Tite does. Lucky him.

**Summery:** Strolling down the streets naked is not good, especialy when you're about to bump into the little sister of your superior. Provoking a new Arrancar without knowing his rank is also not good. And just for the record, losing your Zanpakuto in a gambling house while your superior is out for castration is _definitely _not good. No real plot. Not sure if it's drabbles or chapters... well, just read.

**Characters chapter one:** Renji, Byakuya, Ichigo, Rukia, Hisagi, Kira, Iba, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Rikichi, Zaraki (Yachiru), a pack of rabid dogs and carzy bitches in background.

**Warning:** ...Spelling (But I tried REALLY hard this time), **Nudity**, language -cursing.

* * *

To be frank, Kuchiki Byakuya, the noble well-mannered Kuchiki Byakuya, did not stroll away on random roofs in Seireitei, and definitely didn't use Shunpo unless necessary to get from one roof to another.

Usualy. Today was a special case.

Last night Renji somehow managed to be released from work early and dissapeared somewhere with his friends. Usualy his Lieutenant's antics was of no concern to him, but it had gotten troublesome when a huge stack of emergency paperwork came in few minutes after Renji left.

No, Byakuya did not sent to call Renji back that evening. After all he already left and despite being considered as a stuck-up-in-the-ass, arrogant, cold-blooded noble he did had a soft side too; he took care of his subordinates and let his lieutenant have some fun. Yes, Ranji might be brash, hotheaded, stubborn and brainless oaf sometimes, but he was a good man and did a hell of a job. And usualy he wasn't late to work.

Yes, Abarai Renji was a good lieutenant. After all, despite what people think Ranji is not Matsumoto; Renji doesn't usualy tries to aggravate his captain, and despite how their captain-lieutenant relationship had began in the past and the exsitence of their rivaly Kuchiki Byakuya and Abarai Renji respect each other and are on good terms.

But then again, this is a special case, after all.

You see, after that huge stack of emergency papers arrived Byakuya litteraly spent all night long doing it. Because him being actually nice and taking care of his duties as a captain he ordered his division to leave him all the work and go to sleep after few hours of paperwork-hell, with only few of the top seats staying to help him. Eventualy he was forced to deliver the files himself to the first division's office and some _other places _he rather not mentioning. And more than once.

Naturally, he hadn't slept all night.

It continued till the morning, and then the daily reports and files came in. Because his few seats that stayed with him working all night were completely exhausted he ordered them to go home, but not before assuring them that he'll be fine and will rest the moment Abarai-Fukotaichou would come to fill-in for him. That was acceptable. More than accaptable actually; Byakuya had _counted_ on Renji to replace him for at least till noon.

Except Renji never appeard. A quick search uncovered that he wasn't even in Seireitei or anywhere near Junrian. So the mighty, noble captain of the Sixth spent all night working, all day working with no sleep and no Fukotaichou, and somewhere along his long, tormented hours of morning-paperwork Rikichi had blanty noted that 'Kuchiki-Taichou doesn't wear his scarf anymore'.

Yes, his scarf. His long, precious expensive scarf, which passed from one clan-head to another for generation over generation. GONE.

So no, Kuchiki Byakuya didn't usualy Shunpo-ed on random roofs in Seireitei in four PM, but he usualy didn't stay all night long working and discovering his precious scarf is missing, and nor did he usualy stood frozen on a roof of a deserted street staring down to his red-haired Fukotaichou, huridly, secretly scampring around Seireitei streets with few of his friends -namely three other lieutenants and one third-seat- naked.

It shouldn't have bothered him much, actually. Yes, it was... an annoyance. And Renji was sure to be punished for that. despite that he skipped work today, It's one thing to walk in the Sixth's barracks with a night-robe and *exposed legs, or wearing only underwear when they were on the beach in the Living-World, but walking naked on the streets is a whole different thing. And it shouldn't have been that bad, right? It's just his second in command strolling the streets naked (and for the record, he and the others were also covered in bruises and scartches, but Byakuya couldn't care less)...

Except the fact that he (and the other four men) were completely, utterly _one-hundred percent nude like at the day they was born_.

-and the very grim, very malicious fact that his _dear beloved little sister Rukia _was approaching the corner and around to the very street the very nude group of men were trying to reach their destination without being seen.

...

Renji stopped. Ducked. Looked around. Stood and sprinted, then again stopped. Hisagi, Iba and Ikkaku did the same.

"Why are we even doing this?" Kira mumbled tiredly behind him, rubbing his bruised arm. "It's still wrok hours, and even so there's no one here. The reason we use these streets is because it's empty most of times. Can't we just run freely and fast without stoping every few seconds?"

They stoppd. They thought. They frowned.

"Kira's right, actually. And it would be quicker that way." Pointed Hisagi, yawning (and wincing at the process). Ikkaku walk past him, stretching shamlessly with all of his muscled glory. Apparently he was used to being beat to shreds. "Remind me who's great idea it was to lose all our clothes in a gambling house?"

"Come on, we always go gambling! and we always get stripped in the end." Iba growled, holding his head in pain. "God, stupid hangover..."

"Yes, but at least we find something to wear and we still have our underwear left." Kira mumbled sadly.

"Well, yeah, this time these fags weren't so nice, or else they wouldn't have us drugged to sleep and dissapeared when morning comes. And this time it's not only our underwear we've lost." Hisagi reminded them grimly. "What I really don't get is how we managed to lose these blankets we stole from Junrian, _and_ those _other_ clothes we found in... what district it was again? the twenty third?"

"Thirty third." Kira quietly corrected. "And how could we know they have three whole packs of rabid hunting dogs?"

"I know that, but we're Shinigami, for crying out loud. How is that that Kira was the only one that thought to use *Sajo Sabaku in the end?"

"I don't know much about Kido, but I heard you saying 'Bakudo sixty three'." Ikkaku murmured. "Ain't it, like, too much for fighting against dogs?"

"..." Kira rubbed his head awkwardly. "Actually I tried Hainawa -that's Bakudo number four- but it... err... didn't work."

"Really? when did ya do that?"

"When you were trying to get that pupp off from your ass." Hisagi murmured darkly. Ikkaku flinched.

"Well, I prefet the hunting dogs over than a pack of crazy bitches with rug-paddles and washboards." Iba shuddered. "Bet'cha they took Isa's free self-defense course."

"Really? and what makes you think so?" Renji groaned sarcasticly, catching his back in pain.

Actually, it was the first time someone had brought up the topic since returning to Seireitei an hour ago. Because speaking of this spacific topic forced them to think about something much worse than losing their clothing. They exchanged silent air without looking at each other, understanding.

"We'll have to go back there." Iba mumbled and everyone nodded in agreement. Renji sighed. "Well, it's no good just standing here, someone might see us. we better get moving." He started walking, not bothering to hide anymore. It was then when Iba finally broke, falling on his knees with his head between his hands, whiping. "Man! I can't believe We've lost our Zanpakuto to a bunch of ugly fags! our_ Zanpakuto_!"

"You did _what?_"

Everyone instantly turned to the angry and astounded voice behind them.

"Yumichika!"

Yumichika stared at them for a second frowning and then opened his mouth again but-

"-Kuchiki-san!"

...

"...Hey, is that Byakuya on that roof over there?" thought Kurosaki Ichigo as he walked from the other side of the high building the captain was standing on. He jumped, landing on the edge and strolled over to him.

"Hey, Byakuya!" Ichigo raised his hand in greetings, but recieved no response.

"Oi, Byakuya!" He called once more. "Hey..." then Ichigo noticed his expression. The captain was indeed in a bad mood just like he heard. Actually, he seemed furious.

He called again but after few moments of silense he scowled. It wasn't a secret that the noble captain of the six division didn't like him much but ignoring people was very unpolite, even if you're very angry or upset. Ichigo opened his mouth once more, mently noting that Byakuya didn't have his scarf, which means that the rumors he heard about were true, when his long-haired head suddenly swapped sides so quickly and sharply and his expresion turned from furious to almost hysterical and blank and he paled.

So Ichigo finally decided to see what's causing the cold-blooded captain to switch moods so quickly.

He blinked. Twice. Third time.

"... ... ... **..**Hey, Byakuya?... does... Renji usualy run naked on the streets?"

Byakuya's eyebrow twitch to the blant, loud comment. Loud because no one voiced it out loud untill now. Well- only he was there untill Ichigo showed up.

And then Ichigo looked the way Byakuya was staring with horrified face.

"Hey, there's Ruki... a..."

Byakuya and Ichigo Simultaneously turned their heads, switching blank wide-eyed gazes from Rukia to Renji, then Rukia, then Renji, and back.

And Renji again. Then Iba fall on his knees, yelling something. Then someone else appeared behind them.

Then Rukia appread from around the corner.

"... ... ... _**!**_"

...

Renji stared.

Rukia stared.

Their eyes met.

No one moved. No sound was made. Even Yumichika who called out before in surprise after the girl suddenly appread from behind the corner was frozen in shock.

There were only thoughts running through everyones' mind. And their thoughts was only one word.

'Shitshitshitshitshit!'

Time seemed to copmletely freeze ---and then Rukia's eyes started slowly moving down.

Renji's eyes widened.

...

The next few things happened very quickly and as if in slow motion.

Suddenly something _huge_ imbedded sharply at the white street wall -right infront of Renji's 'below belly' part -and dangerously close to his very-important-very-sensetive certain area.

That was Rukia's first 'vision-block', blocking the nude Renji from her sight.

But there were still others, and so, with natural clueless curiousity her eyes shifted to look at the other men.

The second 'vision-block' was a sudden burst of glowing pink storm-barrier. While at that suddenly something appeared right infront of Rukia and before anyone knew what's happening everything was gone and the street was quiet once again.

A bird chirped.

Renji was trambling, staring down in horror.

The huge thing that was imbedded inside the wall was indeed big, sharp, and really_ really _close to the terrorized red-haired's genitals. Its broad sharp edge was stack in the white stone creating a long, thin crack and its black and silver-grey flat broad surface extended to a long hilt wrapped in white bandages. The other end of the white material stretched to the widewise the street from the hilt to five fingers holding it tightly.

Ichigo collapsed on his butt, taggin the white bandage along and pulling back Zangetsu. "God, that was freakin' close!"

Still with knees shaking Renji followed the retreating chopping-like sword to Ichigo, shrieking with trambling voice. "T-t-t-the _fuck? _you just nearly _castrated _me! _what the hell, Ichigo!"_

"Oh, stop whining! you don't say words like that while being totaly exposed." Ichigo snapped annoyingly and stood up, sword in hand. "Don't want to get castrated then don't run around the streets naked, idiot. Now don't move so I won't miss again!"

Renji squealed and leaped out of the way.

Hisagi flinched with wide eyes, watching the Substitute Shinigami launch his huge Zanpakuto at the escaping Renji with somewhat disturbing ease like it was nothing more than a ribbon. "He's not serious, is he?"

"Does it matter?" Ikkaku shrugged. "If Ichigo fails, Kuchiki-Taichou scores. He's a deadmeat no matter how you look at it -Ow! what's that for?" Ikkaku rubbed his bomp on the head, whipping around to glare at Yumichika.

"You're dead too, you ignorent fool!" Yumichika snapped loudly. "What was that about losing your swords to a bunch of ugly fags a minute ago?- and what the _hell _happened to your rear ends? are these _bite-marks?"_

"Huh?" Ichigu looked at Yumichika and then back to Renji, who was prepared for another great nude-dodge. "...So, you're not only walking around completely nude where anyone (namely_ Rukia_) can see you but you also _lost your Zanpakuto_?" He stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"Shut up! It wasn't on porpuse you know!"

Yumichika sighed. "I can understand how you lost your clothes in gambling, but how _in the name of all that's beautiful _did you even end up _betting on your own swords?"_

No said nothing. Kira scratched his head. "W-well... I guess we were kinda wasted..."

"No kiddin'."

Now Ichigo and Yumichika both sighed. Yumichika spoke. "Well, there's no other way, I guess. By the looks of it you guys won't be leaving Seireitei for some time now."

"What do you mean by that?" Hisagi asked quickly, alerted. "We need to go back to Rukongai to get our swords back."

"_You_ won't be going anywhere anytime soon." Yumichika declared. "Because you have a huge amount of work wating in your offices. Usualy it shouldn't be this bad for only one day of work-skipping," the fifth-seat sighed. "but last night few divisions recieved at least ten stacks of an emergency-paperwork. And Because it was already past Kusajishi-Fukotaichou's bed time, guess who stayed all night long with an extremely irritated captain doing this stupid work." Yumichika grumbled, glarring daggers at his bald friend.

"Really? but didn't the captains took care of that already?" mumbled Iba, than mentaly smacked himself. "Ow, crap. That means Komamura-Taichou is probably really exhausted right now..."

"Not only him." Murmured Ichigo. "Apparently Byakuya stayed all night _and _all day working today and somehow managed lose that scarf of his. Rumors say that he was hoping for a certain red-heard lieutenant of his to replace him in the office this morning so he could go look for it or get some rest." Ichigo emphasized his last words, crossing his arms over his chest. "Guess who didn't show up?"

Renji gulped. Ichigo continued mercilessly, voice now grim.

"And if that's not enough to put Byakuya on bad mood, then seeing his said lieutenant running around the streets completely nude _and_ running into _Rukia_ while doing so is surely to break a few walls -or bones, actually."

Abarai Renji never looked more miserable in his whole after-life.

"I'm dead. I'm so dead."

"Yup." Ichigo did nothing to console him. The inner horror that plunged his heart and mind about seeing Rukia stumble upon a nude Renji still hadn't faded away. He wasn't even sure why. he wasn't jealous or anything, it was just... _too damn weird_. and the last thing he needed was for poor Rukia to get scarred for life. Then he comicaly thought that these 'rumors' about Byakuya weren't exactly rumors spreading across Seireitei, but more like facts Rikichi had told him when bumping into him while in a futile search for Renji, knowing that Ichigo was a good friend of Renji. Poor poor Rukia probably has no idea of what's going on, and Byakuya just literally swept her away off her feet.

"So it _was_ Kuchiki-Taichou after all..." Hisagi murmured. Kira looked troubled. "Yes, and I don't think it's good that he just released his Shikai on us."

"Anyway, In case you guys have forgetten," Yumichika coughed impatiently. "you're still standing here undressed." The grope suddenly became very self-aware and blushed, using their hands to cover themselves; there was something about the feminine Yumichika that made people feel awkward. "And you have work to do that could last three whole days, because Hisagi-Fukotaichou and Kira-Fukotaicho are filling-in both lieutenant's and captain's duty, in case you forgatten that_ too_."

Hisagi and Kira mantaly slaped themselves, groaning. In fact, yes, they did forget.

"Work can wait, dammit!" Ikkaku snapped. "We need to get back our Zanpakuto first."

"No, _first _you need to get some_ clothes_." Yumichika barked angrily, sending his friend a furious dark glare that had him and the other squirming and flinching in fear under the fifth-seat's glowing green eyes. "Then your'e going back to work and won't leave until you finished it all. Is that clear?"

Iba opened his mouth to protest. Yumichika cut him off before he could. And he smiled.

"I said; is. that. _Clear_?'"

"-Y-Yes! completely utterly clear!" the five squeaked. Yumichika smiled even more.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it? then off you go, now! leave me and Ichigo-kun to take care of your swords and don't you worry about it." Yumichika chirpped, than his expression changed. "Ho! but before you do take off, tell us where you lost your swords -and what _did _happen to you? it's not new for you to get all beaten up, but these _bite-mark _on your _ass_, Ikkaku, is highly unbeautiful." He then grinned.

"That's not funny, you asshole." The bald groaned. "And it kinda hurts, ya know."

"We lost everything in a gambling house in Rukongai. We tried to get some clothes in the thirty-third district and it turned out that village has... a special _'privilege_' for thieves." Hisagi explained.

Ichigo snored, trying not to laugh. "What? using you as bite-toys?"

"Asshole." Ikkaku mumbled. Iba set down, leaning on the wall with a groan. "They sent at least thirty hungry rabid hounds after us."

"Ho. How did you get away?"

"Kira used Sajo Sabaku."

"On dogs?" Yumichika murmured, sifting eyebrow skepticaly. "Overdid it, if you ask me. Wouldn't Hainawa be more simple?"

"I did." Kira growled. "...They ripped it off."

"Seriously?" Ichigo gagged. "The hell kind of pets you've got here, anyway?..." he mumbled, chuckling ridiculously.

"And since when you're so knowledgeable in Kido?" Ikkaku murmured absentmindedly, more foused on twisting his body to examine the mark left on his rear-ends.

"Please, how do you think the shelves at the Thirteen division's archives stay at place without crashing and or scattering around when you and Taichou are training like two rabid puppies?" the gorgeous fifth-seat said agitated, waving his hand impatiently.

IKkaku gagged from the obvious indication, Renji, Iba and Hisagi chuckled.

Yumichika's face lit up. "Then again, I could use that special glue again..." He mumbled, smirking at the suddenly horrified bald. "_That _special glue,_ Ikkaku..."_

"Don't _you dare_!"

...

Rukia stood silent, looking around and wondering how she got the Kuchiki mansion when she was not even close to it just seconds ago. She did remember seeing Renji though, but...

Beside her her brother stood. She opened her mouth to ask.

"Ni-sama?"

"Yes?"

"Wasn't I just straing at Renji a moment ago?"

"You were?" _play innocent. You no nothing. She had seen **nothing!**_

"Yes, I'm sure it was him, but... somthing was odd. I'm not sure what though..."

"..."

"I think he wasn't wearing a shirt..."

"..."

"And I'm not sure, but I think I saw a huge butcher-knife that looked alot like Zangetsu..."

"..."

"...Ano, Ni-sama?"

"Yes, Rukia?"

"... You _are _aware that your Shikai is released, right?"

"Yes, I am aware."

"May I ask... why is that?"

"... I need it."

"Ok. ...May I ask what for?"

"Castrating rabid dogs."

"... I see."

* * *

*Any of you remember when Renji first went to see Rukia in prison? he was wearing that white-pink-flowery robe, and when he wolk, I couldn't but drull at his legs xD

*Bakudo 63; Saji Sabaku - Locking Bondage Stripes. These yellow chaines, for anyone who don't remember. Hainawa is Bakudo 4. Rukia used it on Arruer...ru...KAIEN-imitation-Espada-nine-whatever his name is_.

Well?


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings: This cahpter is HORRIBLE**! I know it, but I had to ginish this in order to get moving to more..ahm...interesting things... (evil grin).

* * *

"Tch. That asshole. I swear he's gonna get it someday. He _so _gonna get it someday!"

"...Kurosaki's right, Madarame. You'd rather not say things like that while being naked."

"Oh, shut it, Hisagi. I'll say whatever I want! Screw you, Yumichika!"

"Maybe later, Madarame-sanseki. Right now please try and stay quiet."

Iba snickered. Ikkaku cursed.

"Shh guys! You don't want to get caught when we're so close to getting something to wear now!"

Kira looked around. "Where are you taking as anyway?"

"The Eleventh division." Renji whispered. "I figured it's closer than most places... and safer."

"What can be less safer than the _Eleventh _division?" Iba asked bewildered, following Renji and turning left in the crossroads. Renji pointed the other way.

"Kurotsuchi. The twelve's that way."

"...Oh." Iba muttered in understanding. "Anyway, let's go!" and he sprinted with Renji beside him. Ikkaku shook his head, murmuring. "I'd rather have Kurotsuchi over than Kusajishi-Fukotai... cho." his voice drifted, dying as he stopped and stared behind his shoulder the way the Twelve division was.

Hisagi and kira, who were stumbling behind him stopped too, watching how his face twisted to a groan and tying his sudden behavior to his lost words. They groaned.

"...No way."

"You have _got_ to be kidding me."

Their worries were realized as they slowly turned to look behind them, eyes widening in fear and hands moving quickly to hide their forbidden parts.

It was indeed Yachiru, skipping around on her toes with a huge yellow lollipop and trying to catch a wandering Hell butterfly. The better part was that she didn't seem to notice them. _Yet_.

Kira stopped his breath and mumbled very weakly. "... May... maybe she won't noti-hmm...?" He blinked in confusion, titling his head to the side to look at his black-haired Sempai.

"Don't say it!" Hisagi murmured nervously, holding his hands against Kira's mouth. "Everything's Murphy-Laws with her. If you say 'she won't notice us' then she definitely will!"

Kira sweatdropped. Ikkaku blinked, growing tense. "Ya mean like you just said now?"

"Huh?" Hisagi blinked in self-surprise. His eyes widened in realization. "...Dammit!"

Yachiru's gaze was fixed on them now, big brown-red eyes scanning them while sucking the yellow lollipop*.

Hisagi chuckled nervously. "...Ops?"

Ikkaku groaned.

Kira sighed.

"Run?"

So they turned and dashed.

Only to have pass by a scarfless Kuchiki-Taichou in a blur.

"Gha!"

"Don't turn around!"

"In here! get in this side-corridor!"

"... Weird, I don't remember this turn... was it always here?"

"Hey, where's Abarai-kun and Iba-san? I'm sure they were just ahead of us!"

"Probably running faster -now shut up and run!"

. . .

"Hey, shouldn't we have gotten directions first before going for the Zanpakuto-hunt? We don't even know where to look." Only after they left to Rukongai had Ichigo remembered they don't have an idea in what district the guys were gambling at. But Yumichika shrugged it off.

"Of course we do. They said they tried to get clothes from the thirty-third district, so we're searching every district after the thirty-third."

Ichigo stopped walking and stared. "Every district? wasn't there like... eighty districts in each side? and thirty-third can be in east or west."

Yumichika blinked, stopping "My, you're right."

"..."

"Oh well," Yumichika shrugged again. "We'll just have to search each and every one of them, then." He chirped and smiled brightly, walking away. Ichigo stumbled.

"That's not my point! - no, that _is _my point! - wait,no - _you_! you're _smart _dammit! you know very well what I mean; we can't search every single district! What makes you think its even in the same district now?"

"I doubt it." The violet-eyed uttered skeptically. "These kind of gamblers tend to move from place to place. But I think we have a good chance to find some clue or evidence as to where five _Shinigami _were last night." Yumichika glanced at him with shifted eyebrow, as if Ichigo should have known from the start what he was saying. "Don't forget this_ is _Rukongai."

Ichigo sighed. "Fine then. Just let's do it quickly. I don't intend to waste all day on something this stupid." He growled. "Che. Lieutenants. So much for responsibility..."

"I know. Tragic, isn't it? the way Seireitei's quality is escalating down." Yumichika sighed dramatically. "They're becoming uglier and uglier every year, too, with their horrible faces and antics."

"..." Ichigo sweatdropped. "Aren't you the same?..." He mumbled snoring. Yumichika stopped, whipping around so quick that Ichigo flinched and was sure he heard the other's neck cracking.

"What was that?" The Fifth-Seat questioned _very _politely that the strawberry was was sure he saw his eyes glowing alien-green and dark purple aura forming two horns and a sharp whipping tail around him. Ichigo shuddered.

"... ... ... **..**Nothing! nothing at all!" The strawberry squirmed and stepped back. "...Pocky?" He pulled a Small box out of his pocket, handing it in a lousy attempt to bring the dark-haired devil to his side.

Yumichika stared at the small package in Ichigo's hand and his sort-of-nervous-'trust-me' smile. "Trying to bribe me with pocky so I'll return to the light-side?" The Yumi-demon chuckled at Ichigo's surprised face. "Unfortunately I'm long since gone to the dark side. You just can't see it yet." He flapped his hair elegantly and walked away, leaving a dumbfounded strawberry musing in confusion.

"...What the hell was that supposed to mean- huh?" Ichigo's head snapped up, scanning the trees above him. Yumichika stopped and unsheathed his sword.

"Company, what else?"

"Neh." Ichigo unleashed Zangetsu from his bandages, smirking. "Company is welcomed. These are just lousy punch-bugs."

"You would really fit in the Eleventh, you know that?" Yumichika wondered. "Three, five, six, ten... I think there's a whole pack of Hollows here. About twenty." He mumbled, quickly counting the spiritual signs hidden around them.

The strawberry snorted. "That's all?"

"Apparently so. Let's finish this quickly -GAH! Eeww! Oh my eyes!" Yumichika screeched suddenly, wailing as he turned to look at Ichigo's direction in order to not see what's behind him. "God, it's horrible! Please please please finish it now! I can't stand to look at it!"

Ichigo sweatdropped, staring ridiculously. "What are you doing? we don't have time to play around-"

"But it's UGLY!" The dark-haired moaned, shutting his eyes tight. Ichigo rolled his eyes. He didn't really get to know Yumichika-san personal antics from close yet, but seriously, this guy was weirder than he first thought.

"Oh, come on. It's can't be that ba-..." The strawberry nearly dropped his weapon as he stopped talking when he looked behind the feathered man, gaping wide-eyed.

". . . Holy _fucking Shi-"_

_. . ._

"Hey, this doesn't look like the Eleventh-"

"You think, Sherlock?"

"What's Sherlock?"

"Don't know - heard this on TV once-"

"And besides, you're the one that was leading!"

"Then you shouldn't have followed my lead!"

"Why the hell did you had to take that side-turn anyway?"

"I panicked, ok? Kuchiki-Taichou was right under my freaking nose!"

"More like after your sorry ass..."

"Hey - at least my captain doesn't have the potential of running around naked in the wilderness!"

"Hey! Take that back - Komamura-Taichou does _so not_ running naked in the wilderness!"

"I didn't said that - I said he has the _potential _of doing so!"

"Still, it's-"

"Shut up, I think someone's coming!"

Keeping as quiet as they could, the gangster-like and the red-head listened tensely to a several footsteps and whispers approaching around the corner and disappearing somewhere in that halls of the building they unintentionally entered. Then the footsteps were back, softer this time, and then a shuffle, a crash, and a shuffle again, and than a girl screamed.

"Kyyaa!"

"Thaa-that's not what it looks like-"

"What, it's just Kira?" Renji sighed in relief, stepping out if his hideout. Iba's hand shoot after him. "Idiot - didn't you just here that scream? come back here-" he tried to grab him but he was out of reach, and instead stumbled too out of there hiding spot.

"..."

"Err..."

There they were; Kira, Hisagi and Ikkaku, lying limbs tangles on the floor with few brooms and floor-rags and an open closet behind them, And Hinamori Momo staring down wide-eyed with horror, the stack of papers she was carrying scattered on the floor. Luckily, Iba thought, it wasn't that bad because she couldn't really_ see _anything, as they were lying down and in baldy's case, the broom's brush was hiding his 'stuff'.

Untill Hinamori turned to look behind her, at Renji and him, who were standing with all their naked glory.

Actually, it was _that_ bad.

... No. Scratch it. It has just gotten worse.

She was looking _down._

* * *

I know, horrible.

*No, it didn't have any sexual suggestion and yes, I am aware of the fact it sure sounded horrifying and disgusting. sorry...


End file.
